Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Definition of Madness?

Noun. A moment in one's life when, inexplicably, wrong just seems right.

What do Ted Bundy (serial killer), Albert Einstein (theoretical physicist), Dave Chapelle (crazy) and I have in common?

Yep. I'm a murderer, a genius, and all kinds of crazy. Also, I broke my fast for a cigarette.

The thing about moments of madness is that there's always an after-party in your head, where the guests are guilt, remorse, and a trapped feeling of knowing you will have to pay for your sins sometime in the foreseeable future. 

The question is, is the fleeting euphoria associated with it worth all the trouble?

If I can bottle the guilt that comes after this "crime of passion", I might just solve the energy crisis.

Here is, instead, a list of situations that, put together, might equal the guilt of breaking fast for no reason other than a futile assertion of cool. Might.

* Skipping a credit card payment.

* Cancelling a class.

* Calling in sick at work to laze around with friends.

* Not returning prized DVDs of close friends.

* Sneaking out of a parent's house.

* Sneaking peeks at a sibling's diary.

* Flinging a mobile phone across the room in anger.

* Eloping.

* Lying.

* Shopping mindlessly during sale season.

* Not paying a restaurant bill because they missed a charge.

* Joking at the expense of someone else.

* Using the work phone to make overseas calls.

* Stealing someone else's lighter.

* Not removing make-up before sleep. 

* Avoiding a phone call.

* Wearing an outrageous outfit at a relative's wedding.

* Getting drunk at an office party.


I hate morning-afters, and their counterparts.