Manila Girl

I have been putting off my writing for about a week now. Writing equals facing myself. I wasn't ready to face myself yet, and still am not, but there are these butterfly words all around me and I'm afraid if I don't write them down, they're just going to flutter away [Salma once said butterfly could've come from flutter-by, which sounds like a more suitable name for... butterflies, I guess.]

I've just been watching Filipino romantic movies [they're not romantic in the least, but we like to think that they are]. I wasn't going to, but I said, What The Hell. "Now That I Have You" stars John Lloyd Cruz and Bea Alonzo [my brothers will never forgive me for watching this AND writing about it] and it had its funny moments, but what I really watched it for was the Metro Manila setting. I miss the big, bad city. Sniff.

Things I miss about Le Manille:

* the freedom to go anywhere as a woman, wearing anything I'm in the mood for - pyjamas, baby shirts, even abayas [but only if I want to], my uncle's old sneakers, whatever.

* speaking Filipino; giving instructions directions, orders [I'm very bossy] in Tagalog with no fuss or big deal.

* at the beach of swimming pool, frolicking with male friends and relatives with no malice. Or little, anyway.

* women driving

* cars with tinted windows and windshields

* fitting rooms at clothing stores

* clothing stores with the latest collections

* commuting, riding the metro, taking a cab. Alone.

* going out to the little sari-sari store beside our house when I'm feeling all closed in inside

* smoking anywhere. As a woman.

* accessible cafes, restaurants, etc.

* finding anything and everything at the National Bookstore

* the heavily made-up salesladies at the Shoe Mart Department Stores

* readily accessible pirated/bootlegged DVDS [Yeah!!]

* FM radio stations and the pissant DJs

* commercial jingles on national TV

* SONGHITS!! [weekly magazines for music hits' guitar chords]

* cheap ukay-ukay [flea market] bookshops in Cubao

* city hotspots with the beautiful people and pulsating hiphop beats

* fashionable and witty gay people

* gayspeak and my gay posse [fag-hag!]

* sports complexes and gyms with Capoera and Tae-Bo. Sniff. I'm fat.

* San Miguel City, baby, yeah!

* Starting the week on Mondays

* spotting local celebrities at parties

* going to international artists' concerts

* book or album launches at Tower Records

* BILLIARDS, man.

* the sound of tricycles and motorcycles 24-7

* cat-fights [hehe]

* generally being a loser in a shit-hole apartment

That's just naming a few. Still, I'm saying I just miss them stuff. I don't necessarily want to go back anytime. Not just yet.