In Naught We Trust

My mother once told me when I was very young to not give all of myself away, not even to my bestest best friend. "Leave some of you to yourself," she said. Mystery was what she called it. Leave a little 'mystery', because baring yourself completely to someone else will one day be your downfall once that someone tells someone else, whether or not as an act of cruelty. I was maybe in the 4th or 5th grade when she told me this, and my best friend back then was Sarah, a Pakistani whose father was my father's banker. We shared erstwhile life-and-death secrets, the kind that only ten-year-olds find life-threatening, like secretly hating the most popular girl in class. I could not imagine Sarah ever betraying me by making public these 'mysteries', so I ignored my mother's warning, dismissing it as one of those generation gaps we had, like when she'd start with the 'when I was your age, I made my own clothes' speech. Dude. Mom.

But I think I'm beginning to understand her now. No, Sarah never did betray me, although if she did, it's all good, because I became the popular girl everyone hated the very next year [sure]. But I'm sure she never did. But some people will deliberately find situations where anything you said CAN and WILL be used against you. Even among best friends, it can happen. A minor spat should do the trick, easy. To protect yourself, you shouldn't give away too much. Leave some of you to yourself.

I've just been watching films that made me realize that as well. In the Spanish [or was it Mexican?] film Y Tu Mama Tambien, Julio did not know that Tenoch, his childhood best friend who had rich parents, would use his foot to open the toilet lid and to flush afterwards beacuse he daren't touch anything with his hand. On the other hand, Tenoch didn't know that Julio always lit a match inside the bathroom after pooping to mask the smell [great idea, though]. These are mysteries they chose to keep, probably because they believed it may be used against them someday.

In the Mandy Moore starrer Chasing Liberty, and the similarly-plotted First Daughter starring Katie Holmes, the girls fell in love with men who turned out to be their secret bodyguards [who were in plainclothes, of course, not the Men In Black thingamajig]. And who can forget that incredibly distressing film "Unfaithful", where the perfect wife suddenly gets into an extra-marital affair? Betrayal is always portrayed in films, being the center of all life's dramas. Filmmakers have a penchant for breaches of trust, infidelity, treachery, and what-have-yous. And most of the time, the ones who betray you are the ones you least expect to. [Of course, or else it wouldn't be as painful... Hmmm... No duh.] So in this day and age, who can we trust?

Nobody.

Case in point, I was just reading an article about bigtime music producer Rodney Jerkins. All I could think about was 'how could anyone trust a man whose name's letters spell jerk, nerd, and dork?' Look at the artists he churned out: Mariah "I'm-Having-A-Breakdown-Because-I'm-A-Horrible-Actress" Carey, Jennifer "Obviously-Still-Puffy's-Bitch" Lopez, Britney "Please-Watch-My-Loser--Reality-TV-Show" Spears, with all due respect to these divas who, at one point in my life, I trusted with all my life. Of course, Jerkins' name couldn't have been the direct cause of these women's theatrics, but still. It's an issue. [With me, anyway. I'm sick like that.]

So like I's said.

Nobody.

Fact, not even ourselves. I mean, I wouldn't trust myself, no sir. I'm a chronic liar.

So sure, it justifies the cause of commitment-phobes, but hey. It's always good to be cautious. They say sometimes we have to just let go and break the glass, so to speak. But most of the time, I say keep it reined in. Keep your secrets in a safe, bullet-proof place. Knamean?

"Sadness is everyone's secret." --John Dufresne