Pray Just To Make It Today

I was watching a talk show on The Filipino Channel the other day, and they were talking about issues relevant to the present generation. They presented the usual: pre-marital sex, designer drugs, yuppie work, porno, the media, higher learning, friends, independence, whatnot. What struck me was the last question posed by the host to his young guests:

"With youth on your side, what is it you pray for?"

I was brought back to my wild-child days, when I would "party like it's 1999", going home when the clock strikes 5am, wasted like a muthah. There was one night when everything just changed for me. I had been having rough times with my status at the time, university issues were bogging me down, I was quarreling with my close friends and my brothers, and I had hit a record low with my self-image. It was approximately 4:30 in the early morn, I was in the car on the way home from a reggae party, smoke in my eyes, when a song came on the radio. It was a Bone Thugs N Harmony track, a remake of an old song that goes: "Take, take me home... Coz I don't remember... Take, take me home..." I'd started to cry then, all those unshed tears of confusion rolling down my cheeks from my heavily made up eyes. I didn't know what I was living for anymore. Everything was just downhill, whatever I did. I realized that I was chasing that original high I discovered so many years ago, when I'd first lived by myself, on my own for the very first time, away from my parents and free to do whatever I wanted. I was all too suddenly lost, after being so sure of myself, youth's arrogance propelling me to self-righteousness and overconfidence. I got home at around 5am, and I prayed like I had never prayed before in my whole life. I prayed for the most of 2 hours.

I prayed for Guidance, for Someone to hold my hand.

I prayed for Divine Intervention.

I prayed for the proverbial light found at the end of that pitch-black tunnel.

I prayed for a window to open somewhere, knowing full well that when a window opens, a door closes with a resounding Bang.

I admit I prayed for more parties at the back of my mind, I prayed for weight-loss, I prayed for better hair, a new wardrobe, more spending money.

I prayed for wisdom.

I prayed for unconditional love.

I prayed like a muthah.

I prayed to God to take, take me home, coz I don't remember.

With youth on my side, I prayed for youth to end.

With youth on my side, I prayed to God.

The Craft

The Busaw Family [1997-1999]

1. Nhuraphy

2. Jehanifah

3. Suad

4. Nessreen

5. Ayesha

6. Omelhayr

7. Jiehan [Special 'Surprised' Guest]

It's amazing the wealth of old shoeboxes.

As I've matured...

I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in...

I've learned that one good turn gets most of the blankets.

I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.

I've learned that whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.

I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more screwed up than you think.

I've learned that it is not what you wear; it is how you take it off.

I've learned that you can keep vomiting long after you think you're finished.

I've learned age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.

I've learned that artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

I've learned that 99% of the time when something isn't working in your house, one of your kids did it.

I've learned that there is a fine line between genius and insanity.

I've learned that I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy it.

What have YOU learned?

Old Classmate

HAVE YOU BEEN GUILTY OF LOOKING AT OTHERS YOUR OWN AGE AND THINKING, "SURELY I CAN'T LOOK THAT OLD?"

I WAS SITTING IN THE WAITING ROOM FOR MY FIRST APPOINTMENT WITH A NEW DENTIST. I NOTICED HIS DDS DIPLOMA, WHICH BORE HIS FULL NAME. SUDDENLY, I REMEMBERED A TALL, HANDSOME, DARK-HAIRED BOY WITH THE SAME NAME HAD BEEN IN MY HIGH SCHOOL CLASS SOME 40-ODD YEARS AGO. COULD HE BE THE SAME GUY THAT I HAD A SECRET CRUSH ON, WAY BACK WHEN??

UPON SEEING HIM, HOWEVER, I QUICKLY DISCARDED ANY SUCH THOUGHT. THIS BALDING, GRAY-HAIRED MAN WITH THE DEEPLY LINED FACE WAS WAY TOO OLD TO HAVE BEEN MY CLASSMATE. HMMM,...OR COULD HE??? AFTER HE EXAMINED MY TEETH, I ASKED HIM IF HE HAD ATTENDEDCENTRAL HIGH SCHOOL.

"YES. YES, I DID. " HE GLEAMED WITH PRIDE.

"WHEN DID YOU GRADUATE?" I ASKED.

HE ANSWERED, "IN 1957. WHY DO YOU ASK?"

"YOU WERE IN MY CLASS!" I EXCLAIMED.

HE LOOKED AT ME CLOSELY.

THEN, THAT UGLY, OLD, WRINKLED SON-OF-A-BITCH ASKED,

"WHAT DID YOU TEACH?"

Food For Thought

What Brand..
1. Shampoo and Conditioner:
= Pantene and Clairol Herbal Essences Conditioner
2. Shirt:
= NafNaf
3. Pants:
= Miss Selfridge
4. Bags:
= Sequinned oriental number I got at a Chinese store
5. Lotion:
= Good old Jergens
6. Shoes:
= None in particular
7. socks:
= Esprit du Corps
8. Toothpaste:
= Signal [Jeddah brand]
9. Facial cleanser:
= Johnsons Clean & Clear
10. Make-up:
= The Body Shop and Nivea
11. Wallet:
= My mom's vintage Dior
12. School Bags:
= A huge, red Mango bag with 100 pockets and an even bigger Miss Selfridge beach bag in black. I need it for work.
13. Pens:
= Staedler's felt tips in all colors
14. Slippers/Sandals:
= None in particular
15. Underwear:
= Her Hanes
16. Watch:
= Pink Gucci sportswatch [rip-off]
17. Pillow Case/Bed sheet:
= My mom makes them
18. Furniture:
= Ikea
19. Caps:
= Roxy
20. Magazines:
= Emirates Woman and Arabian Woman glossies
21. Car:
= None, I don't drive.
22. Chocolate:
= Cadbury and Kinder
23. Candy
= Mentos
24. Medicine:
= Prozac. Hehe. Panadol.
25. Popcorn:
= Don't care.
26. Motorcycle:
= Honda [I wish]. None, I don't have a bike.
27. Cologne/Perfume:
= The Body Shop's Indian Summer at the moment
28. Swimwear:
= Khalid's stained shorts. Haha.
29. Jewelry:
= Italian white gold
30. Hotel/s
= Radisson

[*] Listening to: My old tapes from High School. Found them in an old shoebox.
[*] Talking to: Rahima
[*] Craving: for a trip to the beach
[*] thinking of: work
[*] hating: the network
[*] can you swim: No.
[*] do you like tomatoes?: Fresh, I do. Tomato flavored chips, hell no. Tomato ketchup, not really.
[*] how many TVs in the house?: One in my room, one in my parents'.
[*] how many telephones?: 4

WHO...
-makes you smile:
-- My friends and brothers
-pays your cellphone bills:
-- I do.
-do you think loves you:
-- People I love.
-do you want to punch :
-- No one at the moment.
-is the first on your phonebook :
-- My brother Adnan
WHAT ..
-don't you like about in this life:
-- The box we're put in.
-do you want to do right now :
-- Watch "Reality Bites". My best girl Bitch reminds me again.
- is it that makes you smile :
-- Old photographs
-bothers you :
-- Money matters
-colour signifies your personality :
-- Yellow
-do you like in your house:
-- Everything.
WHEN ..
-did you last see your school:
-- My high school? The other day. I seldom miss it, we live close by.
-will you get serious with your life :
-- I don't think so.
-did you do your last prank:
-- Wednesday night at work. I snuck out a book from the waiting area.
HOW ..
-would you define love:
-- I don't. It's not worth defining.
-do u want your burial to be :
-- Light.
-often do you listen to music:
-- Too often. Just not as often as Yahya, who has songs in his head all the time. Haha.