Like Kate Hudson's character Helen in Raising Helen, I far too often suffer from the Cool Aunt Syndrome, a condition that occurs when a young niece, nephew, or cousin looks up to me and then things go wrong. Yeah, I'm the cool "Aunt". They can hang out with me because I know a lot of things; they can talk to me about anything and I'd understand. I don't think their thoughts or convictions are immature, childish, or plain stupid. I'm like that because I went through the same thoughts not so long ago. I have a cool sense of humor. I have a problem with authority, just like they do. I don't discourage adolescent rebellion, like their old aunts do. They can smoke around me, with me, in fact. I have all these fascinating stories about my silly, daring adventures and how I got away with them. I give them the rules in a firm voice, and in the next instant, whisper about how I hate the rules. Rules, like propriety [whispering: oh, f*ck propriety, you shouldn't care what people think about you], or the straight path [sod it, you should take the road less travelled]. I'm fun like that. They can talk to me about pre-marital sex, marijuana, getting drunk, flirting, college, pick-up lines. Whatever. Plus, I'm such a cool aunt, I even have my own money, so when they're short on cash, they can come up to me and ask for a few bucks to buy a pack of cigarettes. I can even buy them a few drinks. So, who's your Aunt?!!
Say my name, bitch!
And then... They come to me with a fake ID. Crying, coz they flunked an exam. I would understand, they were out on a party late last night, on to the early morn ["Oh, Aunt Di, it was SO fun, the DJ flirted with me"]. Crying, coz they're having chest pains from all that smoking ["But that's normal, right, Aunt Di? You get chest pains, too, don't you?"]. Crying, coz their moms found a packet of cigarettes in their jean's pockets ["Aunt Di, I told Momma it was yours. Phew. Close one, eh?"]. Crying, coz everyone's talking about them being wild, loose women ["Aunt Di, it wasn't as if I was making out with him! We were just hanging out in his car!"]. Crying, coz shit, Aunt Di, I'm 5 weeks late... I think I'm pregnant. What do I do? Will you tell my Dad, Aunt Di? He'll kill me!
Dagnamit! Who's your Aunt, now?
Once the Cool-Aunt wheels start turning, there's no stopping it. I wish I could run to my own former Cool Aunt. Where do we cool Aunts toe the line?
Friday, February 10, 2006
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4 comments:
cool aunt? khapakay ako ron nda. khapakay so kapamolwak ogaid na asara a katawan o wata anda taman so kapamolwak. ka ophon mamakalepas na saken mismo i pelasa sa bago iran! hehehe:)
in your last line "where do we cool aunts toe the line"
tow is spelt with a W, as in "towing a car"...right...now i can sleep at night.
good day.
DRUG:
Giyanan man i pinakamala a problema ka pkalipatan iran so limitations. Ogaid na ipn-da-awa iran na 'ingkayno bu si Auntie Diana a lalong?' Grrr. Bollset estap toking!
ANONYMOUS:
Good day!
Oxford's Dictionary of Idiomatic Expressions has once again come to my rescue. It states:
To 'toe the line' [with an E, as in Egghead] means to be within the confines of convention, i.e. to conform to the norms of a society, i.e. please check the dictionary from time to time.
Unfortunately, I have never heard of the expression 'towing the line', but rest assured I will use it when I get the chance.
saken oto i malo on sambong na tig aken a di den ka da ba ko K ka ba ko ai rek a blog. hehehe:)
kagiya mambo a di thorogen.;)
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