Memoirs

1. Are you currently mad at someone?
>> I am perpetually mad at someone. It's my nature to blame other people for my screw-ups. Lately, I've been raving mad at my friend, the Elusive One. Through no fault of his, might I add, I hate that he's been generally scarce. I want only undivided attention, a luxury I indulge in a little too much, especially when I can't afford it.

2. Which of your friends has the worst temper?
>> I have to say Micks. Who can forget the one time he picked a fight with a guy at a billiards hall for looking at my shirt? Granted, it was a white shirt I had on, but he was allegedly staring at the captivating buttons that adorned the top of said shirt, and we all know what a serious offence that is, staring at buttons.

3. Have you ever thrown something at anyone?
>> I was fifteen years old, and I threw a bottle of perfume at someone who dared to give me a fragrance seemingly made for nanogenarians. It was an expression of outrage for being stereotyped as such, and I never forgot how the bottle hit the floor and broke into a million, tiny pieces. The perfume stayed for a week. The stereotyping stayed on longer.

4. Does your face turn red when you're angry?
>> My face turns red only when I'm caught lying, or when I can feel the person I'm lying to seeing through the intricate web I've spun. When I'm angry, I turn deathly pale.

5. When you're mad do you prefer to stare angrilyor yell/scream?
>> I prefer to stay passive until hours later, when I've calmed down and have a hundred and one thoughts of how I should've reacted. Maybe a clever comeback that should've stunned my opponent to silence. Maybe a swift sweep of my hand before I snap my fingers and cock my head. I'm such a wimp.

6. Has anyone ever thrown you a suprise party?
>> The year I turned eighteen, my uncle, his wife, and his children snuck into my bedroom at midnight with a huge chocolate cake and a birthday card. With my eyes watering and my heart in my throat, I gazed intently at the eighteen candles while they sang the birthday song [not the 50 Cent version, mind you]. We don't celebrate birthdays, but the gesture touched me nonetheless, as it felt like a first birthday.

7. Are you easily excited?
>> You have no idea how easily. My private student cancelled two weeks worth of classes, leaving me with more time to lie in my bed, stare at the ceiling, and complain about how little time I have on my hands till I fall asleep. I chicken-danced my way out of the office.

8. What event is coming up that your most excited about?
>> Next week, I just might draw up enough courage to come face-to-face with my worst nightmare to date. I'm excited about the inevitable downhill motion from there on.

9. Which of your friends is most exciteable?
>> Maybe Suzan, with the sweet, child-like disposition. She remains untouched by our general air of cynicism.

10. If you won a million dollars what would be your first thought?
>> "NOW can I afford a country?" A million dollars would be perfect, but obviously unattainable, like all perfect things. My secret list of things to buy will remain a secret till the day I die.

11. If you could have anything right now what would it be?
>> Weight loss. Oi vei.

13. What was your latest dream?
>> Last night, I dreamt that one of my friends' son passed on. It was a sad, sad dream, and my friend was squirming with agony at the pain of losing her sweet, sweet 8-year-old. I can't for the life of me fathom what brought on that dream. In it, she clutched her belly and said, "Only a mother would understand."

15. Do you usually remember your dreams?
>> I have trouble remembering the last person I talked to, much less my last dream. So I keep a little notebook by my bed, for the mornings I wake up breathless from an intense dream, and I furiously scribble it all down.

"If I write it, I don't have to remember it. I write to forget." - John DuFresne